I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to be here. So I hopped a flight to Denver and here I am outside the Pepsi Center at the Democratic Nation Convention!
I can just feel the love. All the women are walking around in orange pants suits. People will walk up to you, a perfect stranger, look you in the eye, take your hand and say, Yes we can. And I will say to them, We can what? and they will say, I don’t know, that’s not important, but yes we can.
I hear a loud thundering noise from inside the Pepsi Center. I ask this guy, what’s happening? He says that Bill Clinton has taken the stage. I said, I sure wish I could see Bill Clinton bite his tongue and speak at the same time. So this guy says, yes you can, and I sneak in through an air conditioning duct.
I meet a delegate from California dressed in sunglasses shaped like stars and wearing a cowboy hat with “Hillary” across the front. I point my Flip video camera at her and say, good evening, this is WMCC News. Tell us what is going through your mind.
And she says, Why do you guys always ask that question? We’re all waiting for Hillary to give us the secret signal so we can attack the stage and take over the convention. What if she urges you to support Obama, I ask. That will be another secret signal for us to vote for McCain, she responds.
I then go up to an Obama delegate and ask, What is going through your mind? And he says, We understand Barack is going to pay a surprise visit tonight and that he’s going to fly in. And I say, He’s going to fly in from Montana? And he says, No, he’s going to fly in the front door of the convention center and do that fly-walk thing around the convention ceiling like the Chinese did at the Olympics except he ain’t going to be wearing any cables, he’s gonna really be flying. He can do that, you know.
Then a woman who was obviously not wearing a piece of upper 
undergarment comes up to me and thrusts a small flat purple package into my hand. Here, she says, you look like you could use this, and walks away. I look at what she’s given me and finally figure out the Democratic Party’s secret weapon to beat John MCain.
This is WMCC News reporting live from the Democratic National Convention. Love those Dems.
21 responses so far ↓
1 Georgia Gal // Aug 28, 2008 at 9:00 am
I sure do hope all the Hillary supporters got the message about the secret code to support McCain!!
One thing is for sure, if Obama gets elected we are all going to need those little purple packets!!!
2 Cotton Avenue Solon // Aug 28, 2008 at 9:40 am
Anchor, I would have given you my orange shorts to wear at the convention, but I understand this was a spur of the moment thing.
How in the hell did you pull it off to get media credentials at the last minute? Make sure you bring back plenty of those purple packages…….Maconga sure could use them!
3 Cotton Avenue Solon // Aug 28, 2008 at 9:44 am
Have you all heard about the stage that was built for The Messiah’s acceptance speech tonight at the football stadium?
It looks like an ancient Greek or Roman temple with columns, and I heard a newscaster this morning call it “Barakopolis”. No kidding……I think it was Neil Boortz on 750AM.
4 gladiolus // Aug 28, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I am sure Boortz tighty whities are in a knot over Barack. Neil is my kind of radio. Regardless if we agree, he is so entertaining, which surely is his function. I would love to be a lady of leisure to listen to him on weekday mornings. I would love to hear the stuff he says!!!
Cotton needs to rename Obama “Barackopoulos Obamoulis”………or not.
5 Georgia Gal // Aug 28, 2008 at 12:16 pm
That stadium will also be full of young people tonight because they are having a FREE rock concert to pack them in just as they did when he went to Germany a few weeks back.
6 augustus // Aug 28, 2008 at 12:29 pm
The average citizen does not like a politician that is too full of himself. Obama’s pomposity is one of the main reasons he will lose to McCain.
Obama has not gotten a “bump” in the polls during his convention. That is a bad sign for his election chances.
7 Cotton Avenue Solon // Aug 28, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Augustus is right on about this one folks, but at the same time we MUST NOT BE overconfident about McCain’s chances.
The Dems are planning an all out assault! It reminds me of Rear Admiral Bishop and his axis forces leading the assault on the City of Macon.
8 GRAYRIDER // Aug 28, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I’m wondering about this hillary picture. Is she hand gesturing about the size of Bill’s or Obama’s shaboinger.
9 Citro // Aug 28, 2008 at 5:25 pm
No - she’s referring to McCain’s ’shaboinger’ and saying, ” no way, no how.”
Good grief. I just got sucked into this!
Sorry MissOldMacon. Wasn’t it you who didn’t want risque?
10 gladiolus // Aug 28, 2008 at 5:31 pm
No, Citro, it is me who is sending you the wiggle finger chastise… Shame, girl, shame.
Lots of my friends are Jewish. They all think my boyfriend and hero, JoeJoe Lieberman will be McCain’s veeeep.
Here is what I have to say about that–that ticket seems to have an awful lotta IQ points for presidential politics. We need to listen to Cotton. Overconfidence is the hobgoblin of electing Bommy the Water Bottle Nut.
11 Citro // Aug 29, 2008 at 9:24 am
Glad, I have no shame. Remember this Yella Dawg Democrat is cool with electing Obama. It appears I’m in the minority among bloggers here but, Hey! ….minority is IN this year!!!!
Oh Mr. Anchorman me thinks I tread into the ‘upsetting’ theme of your blog altho some might say I’m more in the ‘ridiculous’ category.
Grayrider, is your choice of the word ’shaboinger’ Yiddish? It’s new to me but the meaning was clear.
12 tee // Aug 29, 2008 at 5:31 pm
So, Dems were either orange pant suits or orange jump suits?
13 tee // Aug 29, 2008 at 5:31 pm
So, Dems wear either orange pant suits or orange jump suits?
14 gladiolus // Aug 29, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I cannot believe Ima has remained silent on all the Grayrider diatribe. It’s a first. Probably gobsmacked and dumbstruck at this point. It takes a few for a ton of bricks to set in.
15 missoldmacon // Aug 29, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I’m not injecting one smidgen into this conversation.
16 Cotton Avenue Solon // Aug 29, 2008 at 11:08 pm
MissOldMacon……..please stay safe on the sidelines, OK? This could turn rather nasty.
17 Cotton Avenue Solon // Aug 29, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Grayrider…….after her lackluster endorsement of The Messiah, I think Hillary found the opportune time to start mocking and embarrassing Bill.
I hope she continues to dish it out………..that scoundrel deserves it.
18 missoldmacon // Aug 30, 2008 at 8:15 am
Thanks for the advice.
19 gladiolus // Aug 30, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I find is just plain stupid that anyone accused the McCain camp of “overstating the POW” aspect. That is just plain idiotic!!!! How dumb assed can anyone be….Oh, wait, it was one of my former best friends ever, James Earl Carter. I think he needs to rethink at least half of what he has said in the past few years. If I hadn’t loved him so much for his humanitarianism in the past, he would be a total stinky pooper to me now.
20 Cotton Avenue Solon // Aug 30, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Gladiolus…………..your stinky pooper needs to be committed to Milledgeville. What a shameful curtain call for this man.
21 gladiolus // Aug 31, 2008 at 6:53 pm
I really do not think Jimmy is crazy, Solon. I am very sad to say that I believe him to be lucid. Recently, I spent a lot of time in a very brainy college town. They all talk like Jimmuh. I think he is reliving his idealistic college days, now that he has done so much good work that he can say what he likes. I think he believes it and I think he is sane…
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